We’ve all felt anxious about rolling “need” at some point, I’m sure. Maybe we weren’t certain it was an upgrade, maybe we knew one of our guildies wanted the item too.
But for some players, I’ve noticed, rolling “need” is a much bigger thing.
Terishelly at Bravetank has a – yes – very brave post up today, talking about her experiences with anxiety and the “need” button. It’s a fascinating read, dealing with an aspect of the game that I suspect many more people suffer from than we might realise – the anxiety of, even in a computer game, risking seeming selfish in a social setting :
“My worst fear though was accidentally rolling need myself. I was terrified of that. I did not know what I would do if I did it. I knew I could just apologise & offer to roll again. But I also feared I would not get a chance to explain myself. I would be the object of hatred and vitriol from the moment I clicked the button and my guilt ridden typos as I tried to apologise would not help (“I am so sorry” would inevitably come out like “It’s mine all mine!” combined with cackling laugh. Bloody typos).
So my first few dungeons I was petrified. My OCD reached new heights as I found myself checking & doublechecking before clicking. Sometimes I used to wish no loot would come up at all so I could relax (even thought I was running dungeons for better gear …). The mantra I recited was “It is ok to need if it’s an upgrade”. But that didnt’t help. How did I know if something was an upgrade? It took me ages to find out you could hit the shift button over the item to compare it to what you were already wearing. I used to think people had memorised all their stats (some probably do) and knew in an instant what was an upgrade or not. I used to hate myself for not knowing this. I cursed my short attention span. Sometimes I forgot what character I was playing and made dire mistakes (no one respected my mage who thought she was a healer). If I could do that I could never remember what particular level chestpiece I needed.”
I’ve known people in the past who have been very reluctant to roll “Need” on items, sometimes even to the point of absurdity. I had a fair idea of some of the reasons behind it, but this post really lays it out in a vivid way – the fear of appearing as you’re not, the drilled-in message (particularly for women) that it’s not OK to want for yourself.
It’s a fascinating and thought-provoking read – well worth a look.
Do you feel fear when you reach for the Need button?
Quote taken directly from Terishelly’s post
Find Bravetank’s homepage at http://bravetank.wordpress.com/ .